I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize