Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize