So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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