Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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