guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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