You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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