69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
