A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
