Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
