I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
