am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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