shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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