I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
