why do cheetos always look like penises
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
