she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
