I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
