So drunk its hurt
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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