Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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