why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
