he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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