Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
cat food counts as protein by the way
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize