if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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