you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
