coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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