The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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