All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
