I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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