What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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