Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
