having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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