WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
