If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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