I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
