i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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