so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
