So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
