Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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