is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm having to shit out rocks
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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