So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
