Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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