i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize