I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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