white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
