Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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