who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
