This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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