I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
