Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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