Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
