Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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