I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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