So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
