Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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