Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize