Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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