So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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