I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
