Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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