found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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