My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The uberlube is also flammable
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
