I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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