Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
