Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
