just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
