I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
