How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
