seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize