It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize