its not stalking. its research.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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