nut hugger
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Pants are for mortals
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize