why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
