white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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