see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They took my balls.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
